Crunch Time

Oh what a glorious, rainy Sunday. I love rain, I really do - but at some point this summer I'd appreciate for the temperature to be above 75 AND have sunshine at the same time. I trust that this will happen, I just need to wait. Aaahhh, another thing to test and try my patience.

Patience - blah. There are times I'd like to spit in the face of patience. An example of one of these times would be the last year. Yup, patience, I spit at you. But, even with all my spitting - nothing happens, except my patience is probably tried more. The appropriate time still needs to pass before my waiting will be done.

Well, for one of my milestones, my waiting is almost over. I have a feeling this last bit of time will feel way longer that the last how many months have. It's crunch time. I have a lot of unfinished projects. Not really, but kind of. My poems have suffered, and that makes me sad. I've started a few - but would get too emotional or mopey or drained to finish. But in the last couple weeks, I've turned my game back on. I've cleaned. With my cleaning, my apartment is 90% back the way I want/need to have it all the time. In my cleaning I found my poetry notebook, the one with all my unfinished poems. In my time of nothingness - I plan to work on these. Some may be scratched all together - shoot I may not remember what I was feeling or going for in some of them, but others will be finished and I expect to post them soon.

You know what I hate most about patience - is once you have it and the waiting is almost over, then comes anticipation. For me, with anticipation comes nerves and anxiety. I have been fluctuating between having the urge to vomit, cry and smile...sometimes all at once. People just laugh - but I say to many, if you were in this circumstance, I bet they would understand.

With that, my blog has been much neglected, along with other areas of my life. I'm getting em back. I'm taking it all back. I've made it through the worst and the bulk is over. I went toe to toe with patience and I've won....so far...I just pray that the Lord will help me through the last bit...which I have now discovered is by far the HARDEST!