Time for Food, Fun and Family

Well, it's crazy to think that Christmas has come and gone for 2008. I got what I wished for: a white Christmas...and oddly enough, so did my brother and sis-in-law in Tumwater, WA (which almost never happens), so they really enjoyed that.

Last weekend my parents and I made the trek down to Wayne America (as people like to call it...although its a lil dinky town in NE) to attend my sister-in-law's graduation for her Masters in Education - Way to go Erin!!! Talk about snow - Nebraska got hammered with snow, the poor college grounds crew had to work like crazy to clear the parking lots and sidewalks for this ceremony to happen, huge snow piles were banked up on each side and in the middle of all the roads. But the show went on and and Erin walked across the stage.

From there, we headed to Fremont to hangout with her family and do our Christmas thing. Ben had to work the day before and after Christmas back at the running store in Washington so they only had a quick "long" weekend to spend with both families. It was a good time with lots of homemade goodies and loud laughter. Surprisingly Ben and I get along a lot better now that he lives so far away, distance really does make the heart grow fonder =) Naw, I always loved him, but that sibling rivalry can get to be a lot when you're living so close...

Below is their finished present:

The best thing of the whole weekend was probably bowling. Erin and I started out strong and strutting our Team Crabtree shirts...but quickly faded when our mom's drastically out shown us - making us take off our Crabtree shirts, no Crabtree would want to claim us with our poor performance. Good time all in all.

This weekend was low key, with lots of fun family time. I got mom to play a little Wii but dad said he was completely content just watching...party pooper....we did some after Christmas shopping and got some great deals.

With all said and done - Merry Christmas to All, I hope everyone's was a blessed holiday!

The Light in the Darkness

Well, I had my EEG and the results came back normal, so good news all-in-all. My previous post was all about my list and explaining what I was going to do during my sleep deprivation time frame. However, I came to one main conclusion.... While I had plenty of things to do, it is very hard to get motivation to do ANYTHING at 1 in the morning.

I was shocked but pleasantly surprised to see that some of my friends are online long into the night. One of them even stayed up until 4!!!! Crazy and insane, but helped me stay awake and kept me company. I did get all my presents wrapped (even ran out of tape but improvised with my UPS packing tape). With chatting with friends and talking online the wrapping took a little longer than planned, but honestly from 1-4 in the morning...what else is there to do. Slow and steady wins the race...

Come about 4, I decided it was time to work on my brother and sister-in-law's present. I had already gotten them a present that they can use on their door step at their new house. I also was trying to be a little crafty. They had sent me a picture of them running together, which I then cropped them out and put them into a prettier background. Once that was all arranged, I traced the picture then retraced it with carbon paper beneath onto a piece of wood.
Here is what I had gotten done by 6:

...To...

About 6 my hands were not as rested and steady as needed to complete the background, so I let my tools cool as I finished a little present for my dear cousin's girl that I can't wait to give her.

Finally about 7 I was done with my projects, at least those I had the motivation to do and was ready to shower. Ready just in time for papa to come pick me up and drive me to my appointment. Luckily for me, north of us got hit pretty hard with quite a bit of snow and bitter cold so his work crews got called off and he didn't have to drive up there and was able to chauffeur me around for the morning.

Much to my happiness, the appointment only lasted a half hour, we stopped at a few stores then ate breakfast at Perkins. The rest of the day: All Mine to lay down, sleep, relax and yeah...not have to use my already very tired brain...

Making my list

Wow, what about this weather??? Ugh, I am not one to really enjoy the cold. I love South Dakota and it's hard for me to picture living anywhere else, but each winter I ask myself why. Today is a pretty rough day, when I was driving to church my car said -1 and that's without the windchill - the wind is terrible! At least it is a good reason to stay inside and be lazy. And to put things on top of that, there isn't even any snow to play in. What good is winter and cold if you don't have snow? Honestly. Oh well, I'm sure the snow will come, maybe in time to have a white Christmas, which would be nice. I love how Christmas lights reflect off the snow.

Anyway, other than the weather life has been trucking along. Today and tomorrow will prove interesting. I have an EEG tomorrow. For those of you who don't know, like I didn't until I had to schedule the appointment, EEGs need to be sleep deprived. My appointment is at 8:30 which means I have to go to bed at 9 tonight then wake up at 1 am. Then I have to stay up. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

So, if you can imagine that, good for you. I can't. I'm kinda nervous to see how its going to go. Honestly, in the last 3 months I've probably stayed up past 11 once. I know, I'm an old lady in a 23 year old body.

I'm done with my Christmas shopping but do have a few Christmas present crafts to finish as well as wrapping up the gifts. I'm not doing anything today. I'm saving all that for 1 am-7am Monday. I may cook some goodies. Who knows, WalMart is open 24 hours a day so I might even go shopping to help keep myself awake. I have plenty of movies on my DVR saved as well as books to read, however, those make me sleepy. I may practice my banjo but that's not the quietest past time and I don't want to irritate my poor sleeping neighbors.

I mean it's one in the morning on a Sunday night - no one is going to be up. However, my dear cousin has just moved to Hawaii and that'd be about 8 at night her time, so maybe I can call and chat with her for a few hours, then get nitty gritty down to work with my list:

• crochet
• wood burn
• laundry
• dishes
• cooking
• wrap presents
• play wii
• trip to WalMart (weather pending)

I'll let you all know how it goes. Oh I also need to add to my list: shower. There are three stipulations for the test: 1. sleep deprived, 2. no stimulants (that means no coffee or caffeine for you who thought this staying up thing would be easy), and 3. clean hair (wow that one came out of no where, but OK, I guess I'll shower - twist my arm, it's not like I'll be sleeping).

It's a Crazy Life

Yesterday my parents and I went up to Pierre to see my grandparents and some of his brothers. Family gathers are when I think a lot of things. My newest revelation: isn't it weird what types of memories and things we remember from way back when?
As we were sitting there watching the taped version of Adelyn's vocal concert, grandpa asked my dad what that song the little girl was singing outside the 2nd floor window in Huron when they were cutting down a tree in the yard. My dad replies that it was the Jungle Book song, The Bear Necessities.
That memory has no significant value in life and didn't really help form my grandfather or father into the people they've become. But the memory of it happening, definitely brought smiles and laughter back to the faces of my grandparents, dad, uncles, and all of us as they were telling us the story.
The things our brain holds onto amazes me.
If anyone asks me about my family and reunions, I remember back to camping in Pierre the weekend of the Sturgis biker rally - and playing spoons and cards with some of the bikers underneath the picnic shelter as it POURED. I remember eating watermelon wedges with my cousins that were bigger than our head and having seed spitting contests. I remember watching my cousins Matt and Tim light candles for Sarah's wedding and one of them starting the leaves around the candles on fire. I remember picking oranges off Uncle David's tree for fresh orange juice; and my brother running from the waves on the beach in California and crying when his superman shoes got wet (he was 5 - so not yesterday or anything). I remember Lee's kids and I listening to Chloe and Adelyn tell us "ghost" stories at the campground in Wall as the train went by every 10 minutes...then watching our tent blow away when we all got out in the morning because the wind and storm was so bad (but I distinctly remembering we told my dad and he said, "no the weather and the tent are fine, just go to sleep"). I remember tunneling through snow drifts with my mom's family over Christmas in the church parking lot across from grandpa's.
Obviously there is a lot more to my relationships with my family than these memories - but I think these memories are what make these relationships important. It's not the big things we do with them. It's the fun "blurps" that happen with those people that make you smile, laugh, cry, giggle, sigh, shake your head, or zone out into many more happy memories.
I encourage all of you to allow yourself time to just think, zone out, and remember things in our past that aren't "significant" but make life fun.

Next

The chore of the night:

Relearn how to crochet after a two year break and practice/get started on a couple Christmas presents.

My grandmother (on my mom's side) taught me how to crochet many years ago, when I was about 10 or younger. After she passed away, I didn't think about it or attempt to continue for years. All of a sudden, while I was in college, I got the itch to pick it up again. It's not like riding a bike and that you can never forget how to do it...I definitely forgot. I looked online a lot and got a few starter "learn to crochet" books and started making progress. When I was in Duluth I actually made my brother and sister-in-law stocking caps for Christmas. Who would have thought. Since then, life got busy and I let it go on the way side. Not anymore. As you've probably guessed by the lasts posts, I'm trying to bring back many of my lost talents. I decided I'm going to keep practicing and even make Christmas presents. It's not long now so I gotta get started. This was my first night back at it in about two years. After re-reading the instructions, I picked up on it pretty quick. Hopefully these are projects I can finish now =)

a little rusty

Wood burning - hm, as in fire...now that's easy. As in art? That's a little trickier. My dad brought my wood burner over a week or so ago so I can try to get back into that. I got the itch this week, although I didn't know what to "draw."

On my fridge is a card with the cutest picture on it - so I thought I'd try to do that. Ha, why did I think I'd be that good? Not quite sure, but it didn't turn out too bad...I'll definitely need a lot of practice before it's anything fancy. However, life is great and I got nothing but time =)

Blog Tag

So here's how it goes:

1. Go to your fourth picture folder


2. Go to the fourth picture in that folder


3. Post that picture and write four things about that picture


4. Tag four people with blogs (I'm pathetic with only 3 people and 1 sent this to me...)

My Four things about this picture:

• This was taken in May of last year
• It was Grandpa Owney's (the man that inspired me to play the banjo) Birthday AND the Tinant branding (best day of each year)
• I seriously LOVE everyone in that picture, the best fake/adopted cousins I could have imagined - and that's a mere fraction of all my "cousins"
• Lakeview (LKV) = God's Country

People I'm Tagging:

1. Danielle: http://danielledornbierer.blogspot.com/
2. Moments in Mozambique: http://lsongstad.blogspot.com/
3. Sarahbellum: http://withmuchloveandmanyhugs.blogspot.com/
4. My imaginary blog friend "Joe" hehe

What's That Your Picking???

So here is my new challenge, and that's exactly what it is...a challenge. One day, not sure what really sparked it, I decided I was going to play the fiddle or the banjo (two instruments I've always wanted to learn, but never got the get-up-and-go to actually do it). We one day in August, I apparently got it...I called up my Auntie Mary and asked her which would be easier. She said her daughter Kate always complained about the fiddle being loud in her ear and her arm getting tired. That was enough for me, I chose the banjo. Just my luck, she had an extra banjo (5-string, which she doesn't know how to play) that she was willing to hand over.

Hm, I knew playing banjo would be difficult, however, this is also coming from a non-musical person. I played the flute for a brief time in school (parents said be in vocal or band...I tried band, then went for vocal). Wow, string instruments - not easy! Each hand is doing something completely different, and not either position is normal.

I'm very slowly learning what each hand does - but I haven't quite gotten it down to doing both hands at the same time. I can strum and do the chords, or work on the picking but only in G. Each week I go to my Auntie's band practice so I can hear the chords, which has helped a lot...but it also shows me how slowly I am making progress. That may be to the lack of practice. Sometimes, when things come hard, it's harder to pick them up and try, or it can be that much more of a reason to try it more...it varies by day.

Tonight, I had more fun taking pictures of the banjo than playing, but did get some practicing in as well. What is the first song I want to learn???? Dueling Banjos from the movie Deliverance. Ha, nothing like picking the hardest song to learn, but I figure if I can learn that, I can learn any.

I have my self-set deadline of Father's Day weekend. Therefore, say some prayers for me =)

Disclaimer: Please disregard the awesome gray sweatsuit I'm wearing. They are the sweats from Northwestern College (my freshman year) that none of the wrestlers could fit into, so I got them. Not the prettiest things, but definately some of the most comfortable clothes that I own. I also didn't mean to match them up - I don't usually do that =)

Letter From God

This is something I wrote back during my Sophomore year in College. I was digging through my Lakota stuff to find some definitions/translations and ran into this. Weird how stuff pops up when we need to see, read, and/or hear it most...but anyway, obviously it left and impact with me. So go ahead and read this with it directed to you. Obviously when I wrote it, I had it to me, Elizabeth =) but I think it'd be a good one for all of us to read as a reminder of our Father in Heaven. Love you all!


(To You),

Hi there! I just wanted to remind you that I love you. You are my amazing and beautiful child. No one can love you more. I love you so much that I gave you a great family and awesome friends to spend time with. Just don’t forget to spend some time with me. I always am and always will be right next to you, just waiting to talk. Nothing you do can ever make me love you less. My love for you is Eternal. I love you ↔ this much. So just remember that even though the world can seem so dark and mean and that nobody has a care in the world for you – that I care for you. I care for and love you more than anyone can understand. That is because you are mine. I made you and I love you. If you ever have any doubts, just ask me. I’ll be here with out-stretched arms to take you in and to tell you just how spectacular you are. So really, just know and remember that You Are Loved!


God

Cuddled

As many of you (ha, I make it sound like the whole country is reading this - ok ok, as the 3 out of the 4 that may read this) know, I have been going through a transition in my life. I have become more aware of many things around me.
There is something I have noticed more now that I have before. The most comforting feeling I've ever had...
I was at Target this weekend with my parents and while we've been shopping we've been looking for a "throw" for my couch. Well, in the Bedding/blankets they had the most amazing blankets on the end of an isle. They came in different colors and different sizes (all for the same price! so of course I wanted the king size since it would cost the same as the twin, but mom told me not to be facetious). They were so soft and cozy...how soft and cozy you ask? Well, while I was waiting for the cashier to finish with the person in front of us, he looked back to see how much stuff I had...when he saw the blanket he reached out and touched it, then sheepishly looked at us and apologized saying "I'm sorry, it just looked so soft, I've been here for a long time, I get entertained easily." That's how soft it is - people can't keep their hands off it. Well, I didn't get a King size, I got a full and it's more than big enough for my 5'1" body.
Ok back to the point - when I wrap up in the blanket, I have thoughts of staying in this blanket all day and night and not leaving. I could just lay on my new couch wrapped up in my blanket reading my many books that I have "plans" to dive into. When I'm wrapped up in this blanket nothing matters. Life is lila waste (very good).
It reminds me of being in the comfort of my King, my Father, my Savior. It's all protecting, safe, warm, loving, and comforting. It makes all the worries and fears go away so you can be comfortable and enjoy being You.
I would encourage everyone to find that comfort in something. For me it's my blankets (you know you can never have too many blankets, hehe). We all need to find that peace in something that we do or a place that we go.
Being in my blanket has re-awakened me to this feeling. It's a feeling I've had in the past and it's one I want to continue to search for....

Neglectful

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. Sometimes I find it much easier to read other posts then to type my own. Other people's lives are usually much more exciting or interesting than mine, or so I like to think.
I've tried to enter some new posts the last week or two but don't know where to start. My mind has been such a mess, such a blur, such a jumble. If I even tried to type anything the first thought wouldn't match the next. Heck, that's probably how it is even on a day my thoughts are "clear."
Why so confused? Well in the last couple months, I've made some important life decisions and changes. I've found it's easy to continue on in life as things are and look for the things that make you happy and cover the not so good stuff. However, what's the healthy thing to do? We need to look at it all and decide what is healthy and what really makes us happy. What makes me happy? Being outside with friends and family that I love. Crazily, shopping with my mom isn't as bad as I thought...as long as we avoid Wal-Mart except for the necessities. Watermelon. Standing in the rain. Camping and fire. Hiking. Taking pictures. FAITH. HOPE. LOVE.
In the midst of my struggles and hard times the last couple months, I've found who have been great friends and support. It's so fun to see the family you've know forever be morphed into friends. I mean this in particularly to my parents. It has always been difficult for me to open up to that friend level with them, sharing some of my biggest struggles and thoughts with them. In this time they have become more than just my parents and I'm so thankful for that. All my family has been so supportive and loving and I couldn't and wouldn't want to replace them for anything.

On the up side...I went shopping with Mom yesterday and I got a little Christmas shopping taken care of. Also, I have to work tomorrow, Monday, but then I get Tuesday off for Veteran's Day. Thank goodness for being a federal employee but more importantly, those soldiers who have served our Country to protect my family and myself.

Ugh

Love?

I'm so confused
And just want to quit
All this stress
Doesn't seem worth it

I sit and think
All day - All night
Wishing for something
That will just feel right

I want to be a princess
I want to be a queen
But then the real world
Can be so mean

I'm not just a girl
Why don't they see
There is something special
About me

To give someone attention
Is what I want to do
Flatter them with gifts
And say I love you too

All I want
Is just to have fun
Why do people
Always seem to run

They talk about the future
Then turn away
And "I don't know"
Is all they can say

But I know you are out there
You have to be
Maybe you are sitting
And wishing for me

It will be different
Once we meet
Life with you
Will be so sweet

But until then
I wonder why
As a single tear
Falls from my eye

I want to be your princess
I want to be your queen
But the real world
Is just so mean

Rest that Stress

Ever feel like you need a break from something...so you go away. You go away for the weekend, but then you realize that things have just piled up even more than when you left them?

This weekend wasn't a run-away from life, but it was a well needed break from all the stresses going on in life. I went to Rosebud/Lakeview (woo hoo LKV) to hang with "family." It was a quick planned thing, up to noon on Friday it was still a question of, "if you go I'll go, and if you go I'll go." Someone finally said, "I'm going." And everything else fell into place.

I rode out with Aunt Mary and Tim to meet up with Alex, Scot and Patty at their home in Lakeview. What was planned as a full-filled weekend of horses, parades and outside - quickly changed to rain, clouds and inside. But that couldn't ruin our weekend. Patty gave Alex and I permission to stay up as late as we wanted, not knowing what she'd get. After plenty of hours of lots of discussion and literally no TV, Al and I finally headed towards sleep at about 3:45 or 4 am. Unlike Al, I still got up around 8 and made my way to town to check out the Cowboy Days and Craft Shows...nothing for me, but great craft ideas for dad to complete.

Sunday was a cold day. After church at the cute Rosebud chapel, Al and I nearly completed a 1,000 piece puzzle. By the time we were wore out of puzzle making, I was ready for bed, especially after two late nights prior. Sadly, Monday was time for us to head back to reality and back to work, school and life. It was a well needed break surrounded by family and friends, even though not what was planned.

However, upon return life sunk in and I realized that leaving only helped things pile up for me to tend to when I got home, on top of all the laundry I need to do. But the weekend gave me relaxation and peace so I can slowly chip away on all my duties, tasks and roles awaiting me. I can strongly face things coming my way with fresh air and confidence.

So take that break, without worrying what you are leaving behind...it will be there for you to worry about when you get back. Enjoy the time you can.

Laughter

Not that you won't get the answer to the following question based on the title of this post...but just for giggles, I say it anyway...

What is the most joyful, happy, and free sound in the world?

Look at this little girl's face and imagine the sound coming out of it. Jaylee has pure enjoyment as she learns to spin, dance and twirl the ribbon around her, her sister and the air. When I first un-rolled the long ribbon from the stick, the girls looked curiously on wondering what in the world it was. However, at the first quick flip of my wrist I heard shrill squeals from Rin and Jaylee as they chased the end of the ribbon, trying to catch it as I danced it around the wind, the grass and each other.

The girls learned quickly how to work the ribbon with the wind and to make it dance. Rin excitedly asked me all the different things you can do with the ribbon. Her curiosity grew as I told her she could throw it in the air, do cartwheels, etc.

Of course, as quick as they learned, there were many times of knots and times of twisted messes, including the girls themselves. Not once was there anger, frustration or jealousy, only pure joy and happiness with lots of laughter. I like to carry the sound of the high squeals that filled the air when a child experiences complete joy.

How I'd like to be like a child. They find happiness and are able to put aside all the other stresses and worries and completely enjoy the moment. They are able to put aside the sibling rivalry and enjoy each other's company.

They let go and laugh like no one can hear.

(Me, Dad, Mom, "Auntie Mary", "Auntie Liz", Lee, "Cousin Jess")
This is what fun looks like.

Where did it go?

I haven't decided yet. Are weekends supposed to be relaxing, productive, busy, on the go, what?
This weekend was a whirlwind of everything!

Friday I wish I would have taken pictures. My parents and I made a mad dash down to Iowa to see family and wish Dale a safe and quick deployment for the Army. He is back at Ft. Brag and we wish him all the best and God's safety. We played beyond balderdash, which we have found to be a GREAT Crabtree game, as many of the members of that family have thoughts and ideas that are off-the-wall enough that it just might work. Dale made a-m-a-z-i-n-g ice cream and Brenda complimented it oh so nicely with wonderful brownies. I hadn't seen Amanda in a long time so it was great to get her back nearby to hug another one of "us," (you know, the less that 5'4"ers =).

Saturday was great to sleep in...well lay in. Friday got to be a late night and with a mind just spinning falling asleep wasn't the easiest and my darn body is so used to getting up early. I still woke up at 7, but stayed in bed until 10 and I can't tell you how wonderful that felt. My lounging in was pleasantly interrupted by my "cousin" Jess, who was in town for her college 5 year reunion. She called to plan a Sunday brunch with her and my parents - yay! Since it was ten, I figured I should get up for the day, and good thing, as my Uncle Ross and his family were in town to go to the musical/play Sweeney Todd. We met for a quick lunch at Applebees before they had to make the 1st act, again, family I haven't seen in a while, and so nice to see their smiles again.

Like I said, on Sunday my parents and I met Jess and her mom, aunt and boyfriend for a nice brunch at Spezia's - an upscale artsy restaurant. Great food, great company and lots of laughs. Nothing can fill the room and be as contagious and Jess's unhaltered laugh.

In between all the meals, I had some nice quality time with my parents, which we haven't had in a while, so it was great to catch up and spend time with them...although all the shopping really started to wear on me. No offense mom, but I'll be happy if I never have to look at another piece of jewelry in at least a little while.

After sore feet, full bellies and tired eyes, the weekend was well worth it. And I can't wait to see what next weekend will bring, I have an extra day, so who knows what I can stuff that full with!

Family Poem

Crabtree Family

Many people have asked
What is a crab tree?
All I have for a reply
Is it’s my family

This is something real important
At least it is to me
Come meet my relatives
Then you will see

Grandma and Grandpa
Live in Pierre
I hope and try to see them
At least once a year

Grandma is a short one
From her we got our height
But also the best cook
With love in every bite

Grandpa is a veteran
From World War II
Now playing cards and cribbage
Is what he loves to do

They had seven children
Who are scattered all around
Though distance keeps us apart
Their love keeps them bound

First is Uncle Chuck
Who was in the Navy
He and wife, Pam are Okies
With son, Paul, in their family

Aunt Deni lives in Rapid
She has three great kids
Sarah, Matt and Tim
They go on dinosaur digs

Then came Uncle David
He married a Kelli
Their children Chloe, Sam
And Collista are twigs on the tree

Uncle Lee had 3 children
With Brenda and Dale in the military
Amanda’s engaged to Tyler
And Aunt Brenda remarried

Glen is the next one
Working with trees for life
He has two children, Ben and Beth
And there is Cindy, his wife

Lyle has found his way to Pierre
Where he enjoys crafts
You know his daughter, Brandy
By their similar laughs

Uncle Ross is the last one
He is far from small
His wife is Joan, and daughter
Adelyn is also very tall

Matt, Sarah, Ben and Brandy
Have families of their own
Their spouses and children have
Helped our tree grow

As time passes with
The seeds that we sow
Our tree is getting bigger
And our family does grow

With marriages and deaths
Our names may change, you see
But that is something in your soul
You’ll always be a Crabtree!


This is my newest creation. I'm not completely sold on all the sections, so if you have any thoughts or ideas, I'm completely open. I'm planning to give this to Grandma and Grandpa either next time I see them or next year for their 60th anniversary, so we'll see.

Now that's a Mouthful

When is the last time you have had a big ole cube or square of Bubblicious Gum. Well, as I was at the check out register at Shopko with my parents I suddenly got the urge to have some. Enough of the regular mint, juicy fruit, big red flavors, I want WATERMELON STRAWBERRY! What could make my breath smell any better? Other than onions and garlic, I can't really think of anything, so why not! As I unwrapped the gum, the strong fruity smell escaped and started to fill the car. As I began to chew the massive chuck of rubber in my mouth it brought me back many years...to about the age of 10 or so...

Ben and I were in the back of our huge van (the kind that has the velvet curtains, two of the chairs and then a couch in the back) checking out all of our goodies the day of shopping in the big city had won us. Mom and dad were way in the front talking about whatever grown ups talked about. We had been in town all day and the sun was setting, it was beginning to get a little dark. One of the things Ben and I had gotten was a pack of Bubblicious, and I vividly remember the watermelon smell that surrounded us. Ben took one, then I did. With our mouths already full, we decided that to blow really big bubbles, we'll need another piece. I could barely talk. Ben and I were slurping our spit to keep from drooling down our chins. Ben looks at me as he says with big eyes, "Watch this..." He continues to blow a huge bubble. Not about to be outdone by my brother, I replied with lots of gusto, "Oh yeah, watch this!" I took a big deep breath and attempted to blow the biggest bubble I ever had. All I heard was a "THWOP." I didn' t know where my gum went. I begin to feel around the seat quietly hoping to find it soon so Ben wouldn't rat me out to my parents. As I start to panic I heard Ben say, "Ah, Beth," gasping for air and trying to not laugh. I look up, just as he's peeling my large wad of gum off of his forehead right between his eyes.

Here's for you, Ben! Love you!

Apologies

Now I want to apologize to everyone who reads the two following blogs...especially "All That I am"...it got a little long.
Lots of love!!!

All That I am

Who am I
How can I say
There's too much to me
To put it one way

Of course I'm the usual
Short, blonde and small
But who's to say to someone,
I may be really tall?

But in reality, I like to think
I have a lot going on
Hold on to your horses
The list may get long

To start at the beginning
I am the youngest one
There is me and my parents
Who also have a son

I was an active child
Always swimming at the pool
From May until September
While we didn't have school

My momma was the patient one
Loving us just right
My daddy always wrestling
And looking for a "fight"

That combination made me
Who I am today
Both caring yet rowdy
Are traits that have stayed

Born in the country but
Moved to the town
I am a tom boy to the soul
Never wanting a prom gown

When it came to college
I didn't know what to do
Too many interests to
Narrow down to one or two

First Northwestern, then USD
For a total of 3 years
I settled on 2 degrees
Instead of all the beer

Social Work is challenging
American Indian Studies is fun
I just need to find a way
To combine them into one

McCrossans was my first
Work experience for life
The boys taught me a lot
But also caused much strife

Next came the veterans
At the VA
I started out an intern
With very little pay

Now I have been hired on
As full-time staff
This seems to be a good way
For my life's path

Work can be challenging
But I still make life fun
I always seem on the go
Always on the run

If I'm not at the gym,
Church or with friends
You can find me at home
Or outside is the latest trend

Things that I enjoy most
Are little things in life
Each day I get older
And I'm still not a wife

That is sure okay with me
I can stand on my own
I'm a country girl to the core
And independence I have shown

Swimsuits, bowling shoes and rollerblades
Make my closet very full
Staying active makes me happy
And that's the real goal

I am who I am, and
That's all I can be
I thank God, friends and family
For allowing me to be me!

Veteran

I dotted my "i's"
And crossed my "t's"
A few months later
I was overseas


No one would say
What was next
None of us knew
What to really expect


I did some things
I never thought I would do
And saw a lot of things
I didn't want to


When our time was done
They sent me back home
Surrounded by family & friends
But still felt alone

I left a boy
Came back a man
I'm not really sure
Who I am


The friends I have
Want to get together
But stay at home by
Myself I would rather

My mother tells me
I'm not the same one
That left just a year
Ago as her son

Sometimes at night
It's hard to sleep
These memories in my head
Private I wish to keep


To tell it all
So people can understand
Is hard for me
To reach out for someone's hand

The reason I'd tell
Is so they can see
Why I'm so "different"
Not for sympathy

After telling what I've done
And what I've been through
It's obvious people don't
Know what to say or do

I just want to go back
To the person I used to be
I'm in the same body
But don't feel like me



This is just a poem that I wrote one day while I was thinking and stressing about some of my young veterans that I see at work. I feel that I have a unique insight to some of the young men that have been deployed, as a social worker for them, some may tell me more than most people hear. It tears me heart to see such young and capable men be torn apart with things that they've done and seen. Many wish they could go back to finish the job that they began. Now that they are back, some struggle with their new life, that was not put on hold for them. The young 18-23 year olds no longer blend in with their less mature classmates and friends as they used to.

Again, I also see the worst cases that we have in my area. Not everyone that is deployed comes back feeling this way, and I thank God for that. I hope that I can help some of my veteran's find their way back into what they view as "their life."

Not the most uplifting blog, I know...just what's on my mind I guess...It's from a few of the gentlemen I see....their perspectives all rolled into one.

Sisterchicks

In the past, not much good has ever come out of a gathering only involving a large group of girls. There was a tendency to experience drama, gossip and backstabbing. No wonder I was hesitant to sign up for Sisterchicks (a Christian women's gathering for my church and anyone else that wants to come). As last night approached, I was excited for it, but a little anxious. Speaking to my mom helped ease my tensions, but it was also hard to look forward to the evening when I had no idea what to expect.

I was going into this whole thing blind, with only bad past experiences knocking in the back of my head reminding me what it "could be like." I did know of about 4 other women that were going to this with me, which helped me relax a little bit, but I also had heard that you aren't allowed to sit by people you know and you keep moving tables and mixing with people.

Let me interrupt this by saying I was a HUGE TOM BOY growing up. At school, if I wore jeans and something other than a sweat shirt, people thought I was dressing up and had something important to do or go to. Most of my friends have been guys. I was the football and wrestling manager and very active in the FFA (only girl in my class out of about 20 other classmates). Being surrounded by females was not something I usually viewed as "fun."

However, as I walked into the church last night, I recognized the relaxed feeling that everyone had. It was similar to when I walk through the doors into my church on a Sunday morning. It was so welcoming, even by people who had no idea who I was. As soon as we got in the door, there were party gifts to make and the most amazing fruit punch I've ever had. Yes, we had to mix tables and table mates, but it was never awkward. There were ?s we had to answer to (as Pastor Trav would say...) "break the ice." Then we dove into the reality of the situation, God's love is meant to be like our love for chocolate.

Chocolate is a comfort food. God can be that comfort for us. However, if we grab onto a piece of chocolate to get us through the tough times and think we can handle it ourselves, we'll only get a mushy mess in our hands of melted chocolate. Experience God's love through chocolate and let him be our comfort along with the sweet treat will all love to hate =)

Moral of the Story:
"Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!" Pslam 34:8

We're Not In Kansas Anymore

How is it that there are some people in your life that you see everyday but never have a connection with? But then there are the people that you rarely see but when you meet up years later, there is no need to catch up, the second you see each other - you are already caught up.

This last weekend was one of the best trips I've taken that I can remember. My cousin, whom I re-started this blog because of, had moved and started a family and we had not seen each other in probably about 7 years (not just seen, even spoken). Because of the network site that so many people love to hate (facebook), we were re-united. With our recent interactions, my cousin, Brenda, and I concocted a plan to drive to Kansas and bring back the family reunions that we loved so much as children. Luckily, despite the short notice, the trip worked out.

If you ask me what we did last weekend, I couldn't really say. We went for walks and took 3 nights to watch 1 movie. I was introduced to a wine that I actually like and probably gained 50 pounds from the great food. But that's all I can really recall. We visited about EVERYTHING and it was so comfortable, more like sisters than cousins or friends. The time just flew without it feeling like time was passing by. By Saturday night I was wondering where Thursday and Friday went - and sure did not want Sunday to come. We just knew each other and didn't need to play catch up of the last 7 years. And of course, there was plenty of play time with baby (not so baby anymore, but it was my first time meeting her - who is now 3) Maia!!!


Something I feel that made this weekend extra special, is my awesome road trip buddy (Brenda) who will be moving further away to Hawaii. She is joining the Navy so I am SO glad that we were able to make this trip work. While Rob is off to war, Sarah had the time to play and gather with family that hadn't been seen in a long time. And hopefully we offered her some comfort while he is away. We look forward to another visit where we can get to know him, since the only time we really met him was when he was 18 and at his wedding =) Brenda was also able to reunite and revive a family tie before leaving. Now, she can plan on having lots of visitors in Hawaii because I have a feeling that will be our new travel destination.



What was most humorous about our trip? I wonder if there has ever been a study to see if OCD is genetic. Through our conversations and observing our interactions we found so many similarities in our odd behaviors that people often make fun of us for. Sarah can't wait for Rob to see us together so he can really harass the OCD in all of us. Poor little Maia, she already has hints of it also. Notice the block castle and how all the blocks are facing the same way...that was her doing. If we didn't she'd let us know that the block was facing the wrong way. Between how we have to load a dishwasher, clean, eat our skittles, etc. there would have been plenty for onlookers to have a good laugh at.

I learned a lot as well:

• Parenting is nowhere near easy but patience and consistence can teach your child values and morals you would hope they would have, even at a young age
• As hard as it can be, time and distance cannot break love, families or relationships
• Family members can be your best friend
• Nothing can replace a good laugh with good friends over a glass of good wine

Thank you Sarah and Brenda for a great time and being part of my amazing family!

The Old

Isn't it so interesting how things with such little value can hold such a place on our heart. My mom called me the other day to let me know they are having a rummage sale this weekend, long story short - come get your stuff out of our house or we sell it. No, it wasn't that bad, but yes, I do need to clear stuff out of there. After looking through the rows of items they have lined up in the garage, I gained some good house ware items that I was in dire need of, but I just didn't know it until this evening.

As I was going through my closet from high school I found pictures from every event I attended and every one's senior pictures that I had collected. Why is it so hard to throw pictures away, even when you don't speak to or even know the person in the picture with you anymore?

creative old school senior pic...

I came across some presents I had collected over the years (no offense to some people), but they weren't the most practical of things to give, but yet, I just couldn't let them go. For example, I had a cow (my favorite animal) that you hang from the ceiling and he has wings that flap. Now who wants a flying cow in their house....but yet it was a present from a dear friend, and I appreciate that. I also had received a frisbee (still unused), a cow shaped pillow, a soccer ball (unused and now rather flat), etc., all of which still lay in a box in my closet.

Then in the back of my closet, I have a nasty, dusty, embroidered dark blue corduroy jacket. Yes, I was a member of the Blue Plague, better known to most as the FFA. And no, it doesn't stand for Future Farmers of America anymore. They wanted to expand their horizons to include those who don't live on farms and don't want to be farmers, such as myself. Never did I like those jackets and never did I want one. But now, as it comes time for me to throw items out that I don't and never will need again - I struggle to pass on my horrid FFA jacket. I use the excuse that it has my name on it so it won't do anyone else any good (which is true), but I know in my heart and head it's a lot deeper than that. While wearing the most uncomfortable uniform anyone could, my team members and I created a lot of crazy, fun and off the wall memories that only true FFA-ers could. Still, in the pockets I had some of the notes, past-times and "collectibles" that I had saved from over 4 years ago. I just couldn't get rid of the jacket...if it went to anyone, they just wouldn't care for it as much as I do...

In a time where it is so easy to lose touch with so many people, it feels like you are keeping them close to you when you hold on to those items that trigger your happy memories. It's why I still have my grandmothers hair brush. It's the brush that she would brush my hair with after I would sit and watch her brush hers. It's why I have some of my mother's jewelry and my father's trophy. I have a flag my brother had ripped off a banner from one of his cross country meets and jokingly gave it to me as a "souvenir." All of these collections are in addition to the millions of pictures I have between my boxes, computers and memories. With family and friends scattered around the world, sometimes you want to have those memories close, in a form of something that you can hold and take with you. I know many of the items I told my parents that I wanted to keep would mean nothing to many, but they mean a lot to me.

Indian Summer?

I am so surprised how chilly the beginning of September has been. They tell us it will warm up this coming week and I sure hope so. This is supposed to be the time of Indian Summer, where it's too hot to stand and there's not sign of Fall coming this way. Instead, I was bundled up in three layers of shirts and long johns under my jeans. Yes, I know, I'm a wimp. It's just too early for this type of weather to be moving in on us though.

With prices on the rise and trying to save money, there is always a lot of stuff to keep you busy outside. Until it's rainy and cold all weekend. My mind wasn't geared for these temperatures yet, that's why lounging on the couch in sweats watching re-runs seemed like such a good idea to me.

It looks like the sun is already coming up for today, now my fun fall activity planning can begin again. There's a corn maze nearby that I think would be a blast. I did it many years ago with a youth group I was in, but now it's my turn to take some little kids of neighbors and friends to experience the fun.

Bonfires and fire pits make me so happy and this is the best time of year for it. The cool air on your back with the hot flames warming your face. Such a cozy and relaxing feeling. If I plan ahead I will even run to the store and pick up marshmallows, chocolate and graham crackers - mmmm smores!

Well, church first, then planning for the day head....

Here I Am

So I created this blog over a year ago for computer class in graduate school. Apparently it is still alive so why not utilize it?

Blogging can be quite intimidating, knowing that other people can read my random thinkings and thoughts, however, with how spread out family and friends are now-a-days, sometimes it's the only way to keep up with people on a regular basis.

Really what inspired me to revive this is my wonderful cousin who I haven't seen in probably about 7 years or more. She has a blog on here and I love so much to read it, it's a great way to stay close with family even though you are far in distance.