Hardest Thing

I've done some hard things and made some hard decisions in my life; such as majors, what college to go to, grad school, PhD programs, jobs, relationships, etc. We all know that life isn't easy and we all encounter things that may be easier to ignore rather than confront - however...that's not what life is about. How we face those challenges can say a lot about our personality, values and integrity.

Yesterday I think I may have faced the hardest thing I've had to do, at this point in my life. To some/many of you reading this, it may not sound like something that important or difficult - but it was for me. I competed in the Siouxperman Triathlon in Sioux Center, Iowa.

Sure I had trained for it, for about a month or two. In that month or two, I was also diagnosed with exertional asthma, commonly known as athlete's asthma. Swimming has always been my forte so that was not a concern, however - the biking and running were far from an interest of mine. In the past couple months I have tried to build up my endurance with both my legs and lungs.

Without knowing what to expect, and never competing in any kind of race at all (other than a mile run in the 7th grade), my friend Matty and I made the drive to Iowa, mom and dad following with the bikes in tow.

The first leg was interesting - an indoor swim with a snake pattern weaving through the pool for a full 6 laps. Not difficult - but not the same thing as training in a pool with one or two other swimmers with calm water - that's for sure.

Leg two - the bike. It was horrible. Windy and HILLY. In South Dakota it's flat with an occasional hill. Northwest Iowa is a little different with constant rolling hills. Also, many of you who have been to Iowa, will know that Iowa isn't related to the most enticing smell around. Since the 25K bike ride took us out of town, we were constantly surrounded by the smell of hog farms and feed lots. As I was riding, the cool wind and air increased the pain in my lungs, which left me clenching my inhaler for the duration of the ride. Everyone was very supportive - encouraging me and saying "Keep it up 26," "It's tough on a mountain (referring to my mountain bike), you're doing great," and my favorite, "Good job 10-speed, keep it up."

Once I got to the run my lungs and throat were burning each attempt to inhale. I gasped for air with raspy attempts. My dad was a trooper and walked for first bit with me to keep my morale up and ease my anxiety for about the first mile as mom was in charge of the camera trying to keep track of Matty and myself. Once I could breathe a little more decent, I picked it up to a jog then a slow run.

I finished this sucker. Mission accomplished. Does that mean I can now be considered a Triathlete?

(Matty and I after we both finished the race)

Now what was the hardest thing about this? Yes the physical endurance portion of it sucked. My body continued to scream at me and tell me to stop...or was it my mind? My body hurt and my muscles ached but my mind doubted. Each time I started to think I can't, I stopped myself and would switch it around and say out loud, "I CAN do it." Trying to pedal up some of those hills way down in first gear, when I knew I could get off my bike and walk it faster, I KNEW I had to keep on pedaling, one foot at a time. During the run, I KNEW I could continue, one breath and one step at a time.

While this is definitely a test a physical endurance, it's more of a test of mental endurance. I know my limits, but I will continue to train to better my limits and myself. My biggest challenge was knowing I can do it.

I went in knowing I wouldn't win. I went in being OK with the fact that I may have to walk. My goals were to not stop and to finish. And I did both of those. My breathing is out of my hands. I will continue to work with my doctor to get a handle on that. But more importantly, I will continue to try. There are more triathlons coming up this summer and Matty and I are already talking about the next one and how to train for it....