Catching Up

So in the past month a lot has been going on, it's crazy to think that it's almost November already! With the world busy outside my window, here I sit alone in my apartment. Not by choice, by demands...the doctors are saying I have come down with H1N1. Not that any of us would really know, they aren't doing any testing. I have a cough...then I got a fever, so apparently that's enough to say H1N1. What that translates down to me is, I am to remain isolated and not allowed to return to work for 7 days, or longer, depending on when my fever resolves. It's already been a long couple days and I feel myself getting restless, so I hope these books I'm trying to read can hold my attention for another 5 days.

September was a busy month, starting with the sprint triathlon that Matt and I did. I wanted to go as a team, but Matt needed to go individual before he deployed...sadly, that meant I also had to do it individual if I wanted to compete. However, this tri went quite a bit better than the one I did back in May. While it was extremely difficult and I didn't do very well, I finished. I also had my breathing and heart pain much more under control, so that was reassuring.

As most of you could guess by my previous post, the following weekend we had a family reunion for my grandparents 60th anniversary. We had a great turnout that included 4 generations =) Sadly, not everyone was able to make it so hopefully we can have another shot at it before too long. Either way it was great to see the grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and all the babies!

The days between the weekends were filled with hanging out with Matt prior to his deployment - it included lots of sushi, big dinners with all the friends and tons of laughter.

Soon after I headed to Dallas, TX for a work conference. It was ok...nothing too exciting to report and Dallas didn't really offer a whole lot to encourage a return trip. My co-workers and I did venture out of the hotel to include visits to the House of Blues, Hard Rock Cafe, Gilley's (but they didn't have the mechanical bull, and that was the ONLY reason we went...), Texas State Fair (where we saw mini herefords, pig races, dog freestyle dancing and an 1,100 lb pig), and the 6th Floor Museum (where Kennedy's assassin was positioned). We kept busy but the stay seemed to be overshadowed by the attempted bombing of a gorgeous skyscraper 5 blocks from my hotel...needless to say, after that report hit the news, my sleep was a little more than restless.

September was busier than October has been, but where has October gone then? Needless to say it's included lots of meals with friends and even more football. The weeks are filled with work which has been overwhelming at times, but it's going well and the busier it is - the faster it goes. Last weekend was a huge surprise to Miah, Christina and I, as Matt was able to come home on an unexpected pass. Once again, we (not quite all as Matty had his graduation from basic the same weekend) were back together. We ate, drank, played, and laughed while we enjoyed our last time together for quite a while. The time we all shared together didn't make us sad to separate, it just made us more excited to reunite once everyone comes back home.

Now, here I am. H1N1. Home. Alone. It's been ok. Time to rest. Time to reflect. It's been a crazy past couple months. And I'm sure a few insane months will follow. I look forward to see what life will bring. Even though I'm sick, it's been a long time that I've been this happy and content. In some areas, it feels like I've hit rock bottom where it can only go up from here, which I know it will. In other areas, I'm on top of the world and no one can take that away from me.

Hopefully the last...

First, lets take a quick look at a normal doctors office...

Ok, now today, I went into a doctors office behind a locked door. It literally required a number code to get into. Ah, ok...not nervous at all. Let me start from the beginning. A week or so ago, I posted a blog about wearing the heart monitor for 24 hours. Well, the results came back basically normal, nothing to be concerned about. As my doctor and I discussed, based on the results of the heart monitor, we would look into a Tilt Table Test as a last option of what may be going on with my high heart rate and weird symptoms. Since it seems like all of the possible heart conditions have been ruled out, today I had my Tilt Table Test. It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen, been a part of and really know about...I mean, after all, it was in a secured room...

What they do is monitor my heart rate and blood pressure throughout the whole thing. It was interesting at first, but got really boring really fast as I was basically just standing for a full hour. I had to lay completely flat for at least a half hour to make sure that they knew my base heart rate (55). Then they tilted the table (so I would be close to completely standing) to a 70 degree angle in a quick fluid motion. I stayed like that for an hour. The first 45 min were "natural." At the 45 minute mark they sprayed Nitroglycerin in my mouth to stimulate what may happen when I'm working out to see if I got more of a response with my heart rate...which I did - not to the 180s or 90s, but 130s still. Once the hour of "standing" there was over, the lowered me back down and made me lay there until my heart rate went back to resting. While I was laying there they also gave me an IV drip to hopefully help with the massive migraine I got during the "procedure."

(My nurse liked me asking her to take the pic of me strapped in the bed...I think it was the first time anyone has asked her to do such a thing...but it's hard to explain...if I hadn't been there, I'da thought it was some sort of torture bed...)

I don't have any results now, but they said I should have an idea by the end of the week. But if I do have something that this test would show and it was severe, I would have passed out during the test...which I didn't, so that's a good sign. Either way, I was very worn out after the test and still have hints of the migraine looming...I'm off to bed.

It always seems to know...

It's weird how your mind can be so far ahead of the game that you really don't know. Your mind is one thing, but what about your body. How is it that your body seems to know you better than your mind?

It always seems to me that your body gives you exactly what you need - even if it has to force it upon you. Recently I have been running around always busy, stressing about plenty, and probably putting too much on my plate, having each night of my week filled up before the week starts.

Last night, I was hoping to meet up with some friends for St. Patricks Day, but sadly not before 10:30 as one of them had class. (For those of you that don't know, that's super late for me to be beginning my evening activities). As the evening approached I grew much more tired that I thought I was. I went to bed at 9:00, thinking I could get up when they called me. Instead, I woke up, not by a phone call, but by the rolling of my stomach with a run to the bathroom. Even though nothing was in my stomach after the first time, this continued on for the rest of the night.

And it sure did continue into the morning - which consequently urged me to call sick into work. Throughout the day, I have sipped on sprite, munched on saltines and finally cautiously nibbled on toast at about 2.

In between my busy day of trying to accommodate my stomach to eat yet avoide sprints to the bathroom, my mind was at peace by taking naps. Now, I don't usually take naps. I can't. I've tried many times in the past with no success. A few of my friends would be very proud of me for taking naps in fact. What I have found is that you can't force your body to do something that it doesn't need - however, it will force you to stop and give it what it needs, when you neglect it.

My hope is that I will continue to feel better and grow confidence in my stomach when I eat and be able to go to work tomorrow. The last few days I have been very tired and exhausted from waking up to going to bed. Maybe my day of rest and naps will fix that. If not, I do believe its a sign that I need to give my worries and stress over to God. I need to slow down and let things come to me without planning it all out.